bigger half

Former state Sen. Kelli Ward and octogenarian former Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio have been splitting the conservative opposition to Rep. Martha McSally, with Ward getting the bigger half.

Even though one half of the season is gone, the bigger half is coming up.

As my little sister, April, and I would fight over who would get the last pea or who would get the bigger half of the peach cobbler in the dessert corner of our Hungry Man TV dinner, our mother told us that her mother spent her whole life cooking old-fashioned food.

Well, my boy, if we light on a find, you can take the bigger half, and go and pay off old scores with the party that’s tricked you.

He shrugs and hits the bucket with the bigger half of the ex-spoon.