contorted

The speed with which Americans have contorted their values to align with Trump’s has been breathtaking.

In an unfair system in which oppression is necessary to win esteem, white people are forced to seek out contorted ways to identify with oppressed groups, creating a twisted and tiring game of identity fraud.

For more than an hour, I had twisted and contorted myself trying without success to get a grip on that two-inch piece of silicone.

Spinning gracefully around a silver pole to disco medley, she contorted her body into a series of improbable positions with even more improbable names like “The Chopstick,” “The Jade Split” and “The Black Sun split” — a showstopper in which she gripped the pole between her belly and thigh and hung upside down holding a foot with each hand.

I told him about some of the most egregious dating offenses I had endured: he who suggested that we dine and dash and didn’t seem to be kidding, he who asked for business contacts after I declined a second date, he who took home my leftovers on the first date, he who contorted his body to go in for a kiss as I very pointedly went in for a hug.