"I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading accident. I hit a book mark and flew across the room."
Steven Wright
13 Funny Quotes That’ll Make You Smile
"All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt."
Charles M. Schulz
"I'd rather take coffee than compliments just now."
Louisa May Alcott
"The four most beautiful words in our common language: I told you so."
Gore Vidal
"‘Sleep is good’, he said, ‘and books are better.‘"
George R.R. Martin
"I do things like get in a taxi and say, 'The library, and step on it.'"
David Foster Wallace
"Some people have a way with words, and other people...oh, uh, not have way."
Steve Martin
"You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough."
Mae West
"The poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of cheese."
Gilbert K. Chesterton
"Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read."
Groucho Marx
"So many books, so little time."
Frank Zappa
"I'm happy. Which often looks like crazy."
David Henry Hwang
"I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything."
Steven Wright
