ATM machine

“In all incidents, the suspects forced open the front door of the business, entered the premises and tied a chain around the ATM machine,” he said.

“Our message is very clear to the criminals that are stripping the city part by part: The city of Los Angeles is no longer your ATM machine,” De León said during a news conference Tuesday, calling the results a “significant victory.”

He had already pronounced on the kind of pliable ATM machine he envisioned as chief executive: “Pick a Republican with enough working digits to handle a pen to become president of the United States,” presumably to sign bills that further cut taxes for Norquist’s masters.

The intricate lie eventually led Mrs. K to a Coinhub Bitcoin ATM machine at a doughnut shop in Highland Park that accepts up to $25,000 in cash daily per person.

“The best find of all time was an actual ATM machine. Unfortunately, it was empty,” she said.