liquored up

“Everybody’s liquored up by that time,” Evans said.

While getting liquored up and blabbing secrets at the hotel bar does not sound like the sort of thing that a good lawyer would do, here was a defamation case that was all about lawyers doing things that good lawyers wouldn’t do—namely, spreading dumb and false vote-theft conspiracies over and over again on national television.

You’ve got the stuffy setting, the strict staging, the meticulous scripting, the hackneyed performances and even the occasional audience member nodding off — either from boredom or because they liquored up before the show.

This is the state where alligators regularly invade suburban swimming pools, where people get liquored up and compete to see who can toss a dead mullet the farthest, where pastel retirement communities report alarmingly high rates of sexually transmitted diseases, and sometimes the ground that you relied upon to be terra firma simply collapses under your feet into a sinkhole, swallowing you up.

It’s as if peas and potatoes got liquored up one night, hooked up and, several months later, delivered a baby with abnormal levels of MSG.