Bunsen burner

With India coach Rahul Dravid saying the pitch "may turn" - possibly code for it being a raging Bunsen burner - England have gone for the latter.

My heart lit up like a Bunsen burner.

Ian Fenn, who has since retired from Burnage Academy for Boys in Manchester, said Abedi could "barely light a Bunsen burner" while a pupil at his school.

"He wouldn't have known how to make a bomb -he could barely light a Bunsen burner," said Mr Fenn.

“Good. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I must return to my laboratory. My purple goop is boiling over a Bunsen burner. So are my ramen noodles.”