ABS

O’Malley said he tells his clients to get offline and “actually go out into the world,” where they can see with their own eyes that plenty of men have wives and girlfriends, despite not meeting the checklist of “six feet tall, six-figure income, six-pack abs.”

At one point, Chet — mimicking Murray’s “Merry Gentlemen” striptease — tears off his tuxedo, and while baring his washboard abs, tries to save the day when Kate’s Christmas tree catches fire in homage to “National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation.”

The actor and former teen heartthrob is starring in his latest holiday film for Netflix, which required him to dance for hours while baring his abs for all.

It had an opaque title—ABS East—but it was, in effect, a trade show for a narrow industry: the guys who originated subprime mortgages, the Wall Street firms that packaged and sold subprime mortgages, fund managers who invested in nothing but subprime mortgage–backed bonds, the agencies that rated subprime mortgage bonds, the lawyers who did whatever the lawyers did.

It was called an ABS, or asset-backed security.